@DreamyIdealist3: Heck is a place where people go if they don't believe in gosh
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@daplusk: Worst thing about visiting an art gallery is when my 10 year old nephew yells 'who arted' and i feel i failed as i should've thought of that joke
@Reverend_Scott: 911: What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't? No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.
@JohnnyCrash5: Getting a woman: 1.Select the woman u like 2. Lick her face 3. She is now yours take her home HAHAHAHAHAHA I've been arrested 10 times
@One_FineMess: 4yo: What happened to the fish? Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish.