@Mr_Kapowski: Hell hath no fury like a woman whose coupon wasn’t accepted at the store
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@iAmDelFreaky: I was practicing moves on a stripper pole, when all of a sudden I heard a loud ringing. Then 3 firemen fell from the sky and crushed me.
@matt_travelling: So is Walmart a verb now? As in, "I'm out of clean underwear, so I'm going to have to Walmart it today."
@mic22ken: I’m babysitting my 2 yr old nephew today and when I told him he couldn’t eat ice cream for breakfast he told me “you’re not my best friend anymore” so we compromised and now he’s on his second bowl of ice cream and I’ve gained the title “best friend in the whole wide world”
@Just_Beachy72: I’m at the age I need all the beauty sleep I can get. So naturally I’m not able to sleep.