@CornOnTheGoblin: Hello 911? I was doing that thing where you pretend to walk down stairs behind a couch only it worked. I have no idea where I am. Help me.
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@miilkkk: If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I'm having sex. Probably with the other sock.
@WilliamAder: If you've ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you've seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
@koalaslament: I hate it when I go to clean my daughters room & I emerge 3 hours later having just finished a delightful tea party with a giraffe & a pony.