@wolfpupy: hello secretary? i need you to go to that website where you can combine pokemon and combine mew and squirtle, print it out and bring it here
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@Social_Mime: When I was a kid I thought 40 was really really old and now I've discovered I was right.
@RexRizzo: Wired: "Machine learning will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" Amazon: "We see you bought a wallet. Would you like to buy ANOTHER WALLET?"
@briangaar: The new Batman is super realistic -- he's attracted to porch lights, makes your girlfriend scream and then the cat eats him
@AnkCoupleTO: Most guys will go gay for the night with the right amount of sangria & Foreigner playing in the background Don't ask me how I know