@Amusitr0n: Hello? Yes, this is the chair store calling, are you sitting down? No? well
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@JustEnduring: WANTED: Someone to have my babies and carry on my family name. No strings attached. You can even keep the kids.
@Playing_Dad: [Walking around park with kid] Daughter: Daddy, why is grass green? Me: Because God wants to remind me every place I go I have no money
@DontTouchMyWine: Him: I love redheads. I could totally see you being a great wife. Me: I could totally see you being a great chalk outline.