@Amusitr0n: Hello? Yes, this is the chair store calling, are you sitting down? No? well
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@HatfieldAnne: Waving my hand impatiently in front of the automatic door sensor so everyone knows I am too important to wait for electricity.
@werehedgehog: - How much for the mobile tampon? - Ma'am? - It's a bit big. - Ma'am, it's a lamb. - Does it make that sound because it has detected blood?
@BruceForce: Some dude told me he's had 100 times more girls than me which made me laugh so much because 100 x 0 is still 0.
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped u? "Cuz im going too fast?" Cop: Yes, slow down. "But it's been 6 months-" Cop: U can't move in with her yet.