@jus4golf: Helping a few people complete their bucket list so they will just die already.
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@thenatewolf: The lights are dimmed. Sexy music plays. She runs her fingers across my scar. "I got that when I fell off the toilet," I whisper.
@WigCannon: Do you know why I pulled you over? "Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet." I meant this time "Oh. No." Please step out of the oven.
@Love_bug1016: I can't do this. I think I'm dying. Why does your face look like a donut? ~ me 30 minutes into dieting