@drinksmcgee: Her: I’m so glad to finally meet you. I usually don’t meet men from the internet because they could be a serial killer or something. Hahaha.
Me: Hahaha. Define “serial”.
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@GoldenSpirals: Why are there commentators for televised sports? We can figure out what's going on live, but can't while watching it on tv?
@KrissiBex: My family said if I don’t get a Facebook, they’d all get a Twitter I sacrificed myself for all of twitter kind I’m the Jesus of social media
@Dawn_M_: What do you mean you don't know what Care Bear would win in a fist fight? Get off me, this sex is over.
@kdelite8: Doctor: it's important to incorporate purple foods into your diet. Me: *eats purple cupcakes*
@adamhess1: I will never tire of sending random messages like this to random numbers
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