@drinksmcgee: Her: I’m so glad to finally meet you. I usually don’t meet men from the internet because they could be a serial killer or something. Hahaha.
Me: Hahaha. Define “serial”.
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@Spaziotwat: [First date] Him:"Waiter!" Waiter:"Sir?" Him:"Could you check the toilets? My date has been gone 2 hours. Also, her coat has been stolen"
@Just_Oh_Susanna: Like my parents always said, "you're in the wrong house, you live next door".
@ComradTwitty: I'm sick of men's 3-in-1 body wash shampoo and conditioner. Throw toothpaste in there.
@thatUPSdude: Jim was never known for sharing
@imdaintyaf: Shipwreck diary, Day 32,567: So, turns out I'm immortal.
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