@notfaizzy: ...her name was April, and her only son went on to become a comedian but everyone just called him: April's fool.
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@Bob_Heller: Jesus loves me. This I know. For my neighbor told me so. Jesus is a Puerto Rican that lives two doors down. I'm flattered...but straight.
@Darlainky: Maybe naming my new hippie themed bar Free Spirits was a bit misleading. Lesson learned.
@EJGomez: employee: over 100 ppl were killed by the dinosaurs again CEO: my God [10yrs later] CEO: what if we made a dinosaur theme park again lmao
@TheDailySchmuck: I was dating this girl until I found out she stuffed her bra with tissue paper. Then I was hooked because serious allergy issues.