@notfaizzy: ...her name was April, and her only son went on to become a comedian but everyone just called him: April's fool.
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@GloriaFallon123: Nothing like an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" to make you feel like a Harvard double major.
@ghostkrogh: judge: 99 yrs me: is it cos i called ur gavel a justice hammer? judge: no that actually helped me: killing then judge: yeah the killing
@nbadag: PASTOR: and the lord said unto us—can u stop please? it's very distracting ME: [bouncing up & down on yoga ball] i don't think he said that