@wettbutt: heres law school: "sustained" is basically "settle down beavis." "overruled" also means "settle down beavis," but to the other guy instead
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@KalvinMacleod: [speed dating] ME: I like your hair HER: OK ME: And your teeth are so smiley HER: You know this is a job interview, right? ME: *rings bell*
@DanMentos: My Grandpa: killed 17 Nazis and singlehandedly saved his entire battalion in WWII Me: Sits around all day making up stories about my Grandpa
@VerifiedDrunk: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, the very next day you told me you're gay....
@GrantTanaka: "I was thinking of all the shit I hate, so I made a list of all the shit I hate" *notices you don't care *adds you to list of shit I hate