@GrandadJFreeman: "Hey babe, you smell that?" "No." "Me neither, start cooking."
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@jwoodham: If someone approaches you and offers you a Black Eyed Peas album, remain calm. You have just encountered a member of the Black Eyed Peas.
@Smooheed: "Don't worry my love, I'll breathe for the both of us" I whisper as I drink directly from the wine bottle
@bingowings14: I spilt glue on my autobiography & then accidentally sat on it. Anyway, that's my story & I'm sticking to it.
@undeadmolly: A reality show where gay marriage opponents have to live under 100% Biblical laws for six months so they can show us how awesome it is.