@radtoria: Hey baby, do you like tan lines? Because I fell asleep with a badminton racquet on my face again and
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@RandomlyMJ: Judging from the sounds in my trunk this guy would have had an excellent career as a drummer.
@HatfieldAnne: I appreciate your confidence in me, but it appears your “foolproof” chicken recipe is merely “fool resistant.”
@SondraDeeMe: [babysitting] *calls Mom of kid* How long does your baby stay in the rain before it's clean?
@Robert_Fultz: I find it really annoying that eating food doesn't heal wounds like I was led to believe as a kid. Damn Nintendo.