@TheMichaelRock: Hey chubby dudes rockin' tight polo shirts. Nope.
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@CroweJam: I'll believe corporations are people when conservatives ban them from marrying each other.
@RobDenBleyker: Finally watching Michael Bay's TMNT. Best part so far is a dude answering a Skype call and yelling "How did you get this number?!?"
@adamhess1: I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
@RidiculousSheri: I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me.