@jimelliott5000: Hey everyone, my mom's following me on Twitter now, so ixnay on all the eetstway about the ugsdray and exsay and acismray. Thanks
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@QwertyJones3: Me: Oh my god, that cat is adorable! She's the cutest kitty I've ever seen! Cat: I just want to be friends.
@InternetHippo: [halloween at the retirement home where i work] Boss: You can’t wear that costume here Me (leaning on my scythe): Why not