@BoutCrazed: Hey Febreze, I don't go around with garbage in my car, but if nobody could tell I just smoked a joint in there, I might buy some.
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@DaHess1: I have an outstanding credit score and even know a dude named Tanner but I'm still not white enough to drink pumpkin beer.
@McGrumpenstein: Wife: We should go camping Me: Yay *waits til wife is gone to tell kids the Blair Witch Project plot. Camping trip turns into visit to NYC*
@Cheeseboy22: Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.