@TySmithdrums: Hey, girl. Are you a potato? because I'm about to. Mash. You. Up. Oh. You ARE a potato. And a talking potato at that. My meds aren't working
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@panmidwest: FOOL-PROOF PICKUP LINE: you're tall for a woman [she gets real mad right here] *place hand on hers* but the perfect height for an angel
@hipchkk: The true irony in Taylor Swift singing about feeling 22 at age 23 is that I want to hit her in the face with a cast iron skillet.
@KentWGraham: Get your employees to work harder by “accidentally” leaving articles on the printer about reducing staff.