@iamledgin: Hey, guy in Prius blasting heavy metal - decide which type of annoying person you want to be.
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@yaboydil: [In elevator] Penguin: what floor do you want? Man: 5th please. *penguin accidentally slaps all the buttons with his fin*
@kwirkyKerri: Most women have a love hate relationship with their scale, but I'm convinced mine goes out of her way to piss me off.
@themiltron: scully: victim died of multiple stab wounds mulder: *throws her a file* ever heard of the knife alien
@AristotlesNZ: Cop: You know your license's expired? Me: Didnt even know it was sick. Cop: Haha! Me: HAHA! Cop: Hehe.. Me: Eheh.. Cop: Step out of the car.