@iamledgin: Hey, guy in Prius blasting heavy metal - decide which type of annoying person you want to be.
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@TheMichaelRock: All the good guys aren't taken; they're at the bar on Tuesday nights. Trust me. I'm a stranger on the internet.
@AlmightyBored: Her: We had our friend for dinner. Him: It sounds wrong when you say it like that. Her: Sorry. We ate our friend for dinner.
@RedemptionAJ: Why is there no volume control on the microwave? Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza?