@KimmyMonte: Hey guys is your refrigerator running? Because I don't like any of the current presidential candidates
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@HousewifeOfHell: Sooo romantic. He said I'm a work of art. Or a piece of work. Something like that.
@KeetPotato: cop: "can you point at which zebra it was" zebra: "ha good luck we all look the same" me: [points at zebra wearing my sunglasses] "that one"