@Parker_Simpson: Hey guys keep up the "Bush did 9/11" tweets I think the pressure is really grinding his gears
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@djdarrellripley: Her: Does that dog actually play chess? Me: He's not so smart. I beat him 2 games out of 3. *Dog Barks Me: Alright, 1 game out of 3.
@TheOneTrueDisco: On 3. Ready? One. Two. Three. *Both show rock Again! *Both show rock Again! *Both show rock Again! Caveman: This game is stupid.
@bourgeoisalien: Just accidentally messaged my husband "love you sexy beats" instead of "sexy beast" and now he thinks he’s some sort of DJ.
@squirrel74wkgn: [at the club] Her: C'mon, lets dance! Me: Ugh, ok...one second *zips off cargo pants into shorts*