@Lisa_Laughs_: Hey, I may not look like much right now, but believe me, in the morning I'll look even worse.
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@knot_eye: [ouija board] How are you feeling? *board begins spelling* O-O-E-Y--G-O-O-E-Y What the!? A cheesy board!? G-O-U-D-A--G-U-E-S-S
@notacroc: Wife: y is a penguin w an umbrella in the- Me:*points to dog dressed as batman* so Bark Wayne isnt bored W: M: he needs an arch enemy, Karen
@LosLos__: And then God said: Let women have infallible memory. But technology said: And screenshots, just in casies.
@TheIronSherk: My girl has been eating a lot of Mexican fast food and gaining tons of weight lately, but I'll never stop loving her She's my Taco Belle