@MaraWritesStuff: Hey kids, remember the feeling you got when you cleaned your room without being asked and no one noticed? That's what adulthood's like.
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@stephenjmolloy: [Gameshow] Host: "You are one question away from our grand prize. How do you feel?" Me: "With my hands." Host: "Correct!" *crowd goes nuts*
@SocialExtortion: Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
@ZombieProblms: I hate how survivors leave the zombies they kill wherever they fall. I'm not sentimental. I'm just sick of tripping over them.
@Barack_and_Joe: When your homie hyped you up to talk to a girl and you look back one last time before risking it all.