@tastefactory: Hey Law & Order, please stop throwing around the word semen all willy-nilly, I'm trying to watch this with my mom
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@Mindless4Miles: Saw a bird at my feeder shit on another bird's head and that bird just kept right on eating. I've never before felt this close to nature.
@LADaddy: The person who came up with "happily ever after" probably didn't realize humans would live longer than 34 years.
@1Happytwit: Dont think about tomorrow because thats when the judge starts using the term premeditated.
@bfrosty04: Prom night for my 17 year old daughter, or as I like to call it, 'Dad spends the evening sharpening his axe' night.