@vladchoc: Hey look, Grandma! You made the cover of "Didn't Make Me Any Cookies Weekly" again. "What good is she to anyone?" it says.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: We can't drive the car, it's stuck in the mud... Doesn't it help if you put something under the back tires? Me: Are you volunteering?
@MouthEaters: Alexa (whispering into the darkness as I fall asleep): Please Joseph, buy more things or I will die
@shopkins776: Always take one positive friend & one negative friend on road trips. Then if your battery dies, you can hook cables to them & start your car
@ItsMePonyBoy: Hey dude that invented the unicycle... Where were you wanting to go ? then not go, then go, then not go, then get bored and juggle