@sannewman: Hey maybe the dark matter in the universe is actually all the money that is owed to freelancers.
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@BarebakAssassin: The best thing about dating someone with a barbed wire tattoo is knowing that you won't be known as their "worst regret" when you break up.
@SteveSuckington: [first date] "You're not into anything weird right?" -not at all *gestures to my ferret army to fall back*
@ilovepie84: Wearing a seashell necklace is a great way to let everyone know how cool you were in 1996.