@sannewman: Hey maybe the dark matter in the universe is actually all the money that is owed to freelancers.
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@botandy: google logo keeps changing its appearance because it killed a man in Tampa in 1999 and has to stay ahead of the law
@JonnyStallone: Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from.
@Brianhopecomedy: "Daddy?" "Yes?" "What are you doing?" "Writing a fictional conversation so I can post it on Twitter."
@StarWarsProblms: Kylo Ren: Hey, why is my paycheck so low? General Hux: Damages. Maybe you should stop throwing temper tantrums with your lightsaber.