@juliussharpe: Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
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@mrtruthandsoul: How much of this "no more tears" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?
@Rollmaninoz: I just switched my phone to airplane mode and a small child appeared and started kicking me in the back.
@BubblesnBooze: I just found a human tooth and a pair of underwear in my purse. I might be a serial killer or I might be a mom, you'll never know.