@Hadzilla: HEY OSAMA I FOUND YOUR 72 VIRGINS THEY ARE ALL ON MY TIMELINE TALKING ABOUT STAR WARS
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@InternetHippo: ME: Billions of bacteria live on and inside my body INTERVIEWER: I meant tell me about yourself job-wise
@DanMentos: “how was self-deprecating rap battle?” I don’t want to talk about it “come on what happened?” they saw my porsche "oh ouch"
@KindOfASmartass: Me: My daughters are 15, 13, and 10. Her: Do you want more kids? Me: Hahahahahahahaha Her: Is that a no? Me: *Deep breathe* Hahahahahaha