@IamEnidColeslaw: HEY. Our ancestors didn't eat brunch. They ate rocks. And fought dinosaurs. Ever heard of fire? They INVENTED it. Enjoy your Bloody Mary.
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@ArfMeasures: BOSS: Wow you made a killing on your first day ME: Thanks boss! BOSS: *puts hand on my shoulder* that's bad for a surgeon
@david8hughes: "911 what's your emergency?" "Yeah, I've got so many questions about bees." *sighs* "Please hold for the president."
@bigbrez100: Bad: I saw my girlfriend's name and number on a couple of men's bathroom walls.. Worse: It was in her handwriting...