@YUCKYBOT: Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
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@Social_Mime: Doing word problems as a kid as helped me in adulthood. "Dan doesn't have enough money for his bills, how long before he is homeless?"
@rolldiggity: MEDIC: "Put pressure on the wound!" ME: "Hey, wound! All the cool kids are drinking and you should too!"
@INDlAN_: *lost in China* Friend: ask that man where we are Me [pretending to speak Chinese with a local]: xian chan sēn F: well? Me: we’re in China