@YUCKYBOT: Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
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@PFTompkins: Jurassic Park III on AMC. 10 min. in, 2 young scientists studying dinosaur fossils. FOSSILS. Hey, 'member how THERE ARE ALIVE DINOSAURS NOW?
@Cheeseboy22: Just found a hilarious message in a bottle on the beach. I decided it needed to be RT'd, so I threw it back in.
@weinerdog4life: Literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don't even know it.
@LoveNLunchmeat: My kid asked how the Easter bunny gets inside the house and I'm very uncomfortable with the amount of lying this parenting gig requires.