@YUCKYBOT: Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
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@NoogsCorner: Whenever I see an unsecured WiFi, I just assume it's owned by a chimpanzee sitting in a room and hitting a keyboard with a hammer.
@1NTERCEPTOR_: When they were saying "we will find a good home for him" I thought they were talking about the dog,I didn't know they were talking about me!
@weinerdog4life: I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to help me put a bunch of ducks in my car.