@YUCKYBOT: Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
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@EvilPandaX: I think at my age the next tattoo will be more responsible like a dragon across my back but doing his taxes.
@Love_bug1016: The person who is your first and last thought of the day is either the one who has your heart, or who's murder you're secretly plotting.
@EliTerry: I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named FIREWORKS AND VACUUMS so my dog won't find them.
@aveuaskew: Tell me I'm beautiful "You're beautiful" Tell me I'm a genius "You're a genius" Tell m- "Just give me the toilet paper, please"