@YUCKYBOT: Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@The_JRM: The main reason I tell my daughter that beauty is on the inside is because I'm in charge of her ponytail in the mornings.
@Parker_Simpson: The year is 2065. Every adjective once used to describe another person is now deemed offensive. Noone's left their homes in years.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: I'm way tougher than you. Wife: I gave birth twice without an epidural. Me: So? Wife: You called in sick for an ice cream headache.