@Bunnydurden: Hey Paul Ryan, why don't you save some first names for the rest of us.
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@causticbob: My wife sent me an image of herself which really enticed me into coming home from work early. It was a picture of her at the airport.
@Karate_Horse: [karate sign up table] "Ok guys with a ponytail or that are named Vince please form a second line you are the advanced class"
@dire_beard: Snow White: Someday my prince will come Prince Charming: I swear this has never happened before
@WilliamAder: The only wisdom that comes with age is knowing which stores have the nicer restrooms.