@Bunnydurden: Hey Paul Ryan, why don't you save some first names for the rest of us.
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@1followernodad: Me: I'm a scorpion. Date: You mean scorpio? Me: (clicking my claws together) No I very do not.
@Henry_3k: Meanwhile at the drugstore... What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication? You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.
@kibblesmith: Nice try "Marco Rubio" — or should I say... [rearranges letters] "BIRAC UBOMA" [audience gasps]
@davedittell: LAMP FOR SALE: gold, antique, good patina, evil genie, functions like new, you will be killed, shiny, polished, be careful what you wish for