@SICKOFWOLVES: I JUST WANT A JOB WHERE I CAN SIT ABSOLUTELY STILL AND IF ANYONE DISTURBS ME I GET TO SCREAM

@slytherinstef: So I didn't stab the idiot who knocked over my entire coffee- Does that sainthood thing start like right away or...

@desi_princess: I told my boss I'm calling in sick today. He said, "You can't do that when you're already here." Is that true you guys?

@KenJennings: There's nothing more disturbing than the 1st time you hear someone you know using their "whooo's a good dog" voice.

@ThereWillBeGin: Chefs seem obsessed with removing more and more of the original structure of foods: Salmon mousse Basil foam Strawberry dust Parmesan air Where does it end? Venison déjà vu A memory of broccoli A vicious rumour about carrots