@HeroineAddict: Hey, people who use crystals or all-natural products instead of deodorant: You don't need to keep informing us. We know.
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@Sleinso: *Goes to local train station* *Runs into platform 9¾* *Head bangs against wall* Family: What were you doing? Me: *whispers* Pfft! Muggles.
@simoncholland: And like the migratory pattern of the white-crowned sparrow, the last roll of toilet paper makes its journey from bathroom to bathroom.
@lloydrang: Kid: Mommy's last name must be "Honey" cuz that's what daddy calls her Teacher: That's SWEET. What's her first name? Kid: "Sorry," I think
@jamisondg1: I wonder if in 100 years, ghosts of today will spell out "swag" or "bae" on the Ouija boards