@HeroineAddict: Hey, people who use crystals or all-natural products instead of deodorant: You don't need to keep informing us. We know.
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@Jake_Vig: THEM: Hey-- ME: Ring ring. I gotta take this. THEM: I just watched you say "ring ring." ME: Ring ring. Yeah, this is really important.
@G_Faylor: [pulls meatloaf out of oven] he's still sweating and singing just as beautifully as ever
@drunkNnaughty: I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
@jonnysun: COP 1: whys there a dead scuba diver in the forest?? COP 2: easy…he was in the water they drop on forest fires WEIRD SERIAL KILLER: no no NO