@slimmy_shady: Hey Pringles, It's time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn't exactly thin-wristed. Thank you!
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@Bob_Heller: Party Tip: At a 3-year-old's birthday party, you can piss all over the bathroom. ALL OVER!!!! Nobody will suspect you.
@spekulation: Someone asked who sang Johnny B Goode, and I said Marty McFly because I'm not an idiot and I know how time travel works.
@singwithTaffy: Please, by all means, call my landline. I'll reply with a postcard attached to a helium balloon