@slimmy_shady: Hey Pringles, It's time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn't exactly thin-wristed. Thank you!
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@tweetarded1: My soon to be ex-wife just told me I need to face my demons. nnWTF. I was looking right at her.
@AndyAsAdjective: Which is worse: that I had to wear a Frozen bandaid cuz all the regular ones were taken or that I spent 5 min. deciding between Anna & Elsa?
@just1fool: You know what they say about a man with average sized feet. It's really easy to find shoes for him.
@nerdyjewishgirl: Re: global warming and the cold weather "Liberals keep telling me the Titanic is sinking but my side of the ship is 500 feet in the air."