@PaulyPeligroso: Hey, which Instagram filter takes out all the insecurities?
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@TheDjinnTrials: Fun thing to say to your neighbors on the first meeting: I love the way your hair smells when you're sleeping.
@AmishPornStar1: "Awwww, that is so sweet! I think you're outstanding too!" me, to the collection agency
@InternetHippo: Politics is so confrontational now. I miss the old days, when we settled our differences with *raises glasses to look at history book* war
@Elizasoul80: I feel like before a bee stings a human, all his dumb bee friends are like "you can totally take him."