@PaulyPeligroso: Hey, which Instagram filter takes out all the insecurities?
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@Tommytoughstuff: [Talking to a giant banana] "Is that a human being in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
@dank_hitler: 1. Secretly take a bunch of pictures of someone you see everyday but barely know 2. Friend request them on FB 3. Tag them in 238 photos
@DanRegans: I miss the old days when I could say I wasn't around and you couldn't check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying