@vinfury: Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
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@WheelTod: Today my 6yo said it was good it's snowing, as that means the earth isn't getting hotter, and tonight she starts as an anchor on Fox News.
@Elifcello: Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it.
@nbadag: TURTLE: hey, you carry your house around too! HERMIT CRAB: i do. where'd you find yours? T: i was born with it HC: *scoff* ok princess
@happily_dad: Dear neighbors, I am not killing my child. I'm washing her hair. Only she sees it the other way.