@samalmightysam: ''Hey, you like water? yes? well I can turn it into wine.'' -Jesus flirting in a bar
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mr_Kapowski: Spice up your otherwise trite wedding by making the groomsmen act as pallbearers and carry the groom to the altar in a casket
@KeetPotato: cop: "can you point at which zebra it was" zebra: "ha good luck we all look the same" me: [points at zebra wearing my sunglasses] "that one"
@SteveSuckington: [blind date] HER: lmao! You seriously wore pajamas on a first date? ME: hey!! You're not blind!!