@samalmightysam: ''Hey, you like water? yes? well I can turn it into wine.'' -Jesus flirting in a bar
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@KKAlThani: Here's what I know about girls. If she's angry, it will pass. If she goes silent, leave the country, change your name & start a new life.
@JPHaddadio: When I am president, it will be legal to grab the waists of slow and distracted pedestrians on cell phones and race them along.
@AmishPornStar1: I'm not saying she's worse than my mom... But my wife doesn't seem to like any of my girlfriends.
@MableGertrude: I wonder how many people come visit our country and then immediately leave after trying a slice of American cheese.