@GrantTanaka: Hi 911, I’d like to report a drunk naked guy blasting off truck nuts w/ a shotgun. Time of incident? [takes drink] In about 20 minutes lol
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@ConanOBrien: Great, yet another drive-in movie ruined by the neighbors saying I can't park on their lawn and watch movies through the living room window.
@hobo_hands: Having swords for arms was a terrible first wish but it was a genie and I blurt weird things out when I panic.
@chimneyspotter: [creating man] GOD: They need air to live ANGEL: Done G: And food A: Ok G: Use the same hole for air and food so they die sometimes A: wtf?
@AsgardianRose: The hardest part of being Darth Vader is never being able to sneak up on anyone because your theme music started playing.