@GrantTanaka: Hi 911, I’d like to report a drunk naked guy blasting off truck nuts w/ a shotgun. Time of incident? [takes drink] In about 20 minutes lol
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@ShaeAaron: My bra is off, my pajamas are on, my hair is up. I'm not sure if I'm going to bed, or to Walmart.
@iscoff: Sometimes if you say "Wow, you're tall!" to a tall person they realize they're tall for the first time and thank you with cash
@robfee: I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass.