@genehunter1: If you don't have a bucket list, then put "make bucket list" on your "To Do" list. nnYou don't have a To Do list?nnnnJesus, what ARE you?

@Tuna_Lover: I'm not a Doctor, but I played one until I got arrested.

@TheRobCee: In hell, your mouth is always freshly brushed & minty, and all they have to drink is orange juice.

@NicestHippo: [Crate and Barrel job interview] "So why do you want to work here?" DONKEY KONG [sweating]: I love interior design

@Barknado69: Me: why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie Surgeon: wtf M: he was too far out man S: how are you still awake we heavily sedated you