@Lerky: "HI DO YOU WANT TO DRESS UP NICE SO WE CAN QUEUE OUTSIDE A CLUB & GET INSIDE & QUEUE UP TO BUY A DRINK & THEN QUEUE UP TO GO TO THE TOILET?"
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@Sadieisonfire: I put Infinite Warfare on Craigslist and of course I'm getting the geniuses texting me
@1_swarthy_dude: [interview for waiter position] Manager: "So how experienced are you at carrying multiple plates?" Stegosaurus: "You're kidding me right?"
@SardonicTart: Fun prank. Tell your bf you're getting your hair done. Leave. Don't get your hair done. When you come back & he says it looks great stab him