@LizHackett: Hi, famous people getting DUIs. You know you can probably afford a driver, right? Just a thought.
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@ddsmidt: When someone reads your message, then never responds, it's just hurtful. I mean, what else could they possibly have going on at 3 AM?
@badbanana: "And to my son Ronald, I leave my entire collection of mint-condition, never-been-opened LinkedIn Updates emails."
@ramblinma: *stops abruptly at red light* *instinctively reaches out arm to protect food in passenger seat*