@tylerschmall: Hi, fire department? My cat is in a tree. Television has taught me that this is your problem.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jwoodham: If you like someone, pretend they're a charger and you're an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
@NotthatAdamWest: Jean shorts on men should be called Danny Dukes. Or Daisy Dons. Or maybe just Poor Life Choices.
@audipenny: friend: let's meet up soon me: *in the crow's nest of a ship docking outside your house* when though
@bggas400: She's got the face of an angel, a heart of gold, & a body that won't quit. Who cares that she curses like a trucker and drinks like a fish.