@tylerschmall: Hi, fire department? My cat is in a tree. Television has taught me that this is your problem.
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@Tommytoughstuff: [Date] "I'm going to use the restroom *leans over table* and I counted my onion rings, there's six."
@EndhooS: My wife says brushing my teeth when sitting on the toilet is disgusting but honestly this toilet brush is almost brand new
@omerwahaj: If at first you don't like the beard on your face, don't worry; it will eventually grow on you.