@McNevich: Hi guys! Nick is very handsome and an amazing cook. Are there any nice girls interested inMOM GET OFF MY TWITTER YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING
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@shariv67: The bright side of global warming is that 100% of our great grandchildren will own beachfront property.
@Try2StopME: Girl1: Why are you so happy? Girl2: I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said "Parking Fine"
@AhmedAllabidy: Don't go to a fight with a gun or a knife, Bubblewrap yourself, People won't fight when there's bubblewrap
@HeyZeus666: My dad use to take me to the circus to see the tattooed man and the bearded lady. Now, I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.