@abhorrent_wife: Hi, I'm Megan. You may know me from such public encounters with kids as "No, YOUR face is stupid" and "I didn't trip you, you fell".
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@ClichedOut: [campfire] Me: (flashlight to face) "af" didn't exist. Millennials: (gasp) Me: We had to use "adverbs." (one faints)
@SatansTongue: (bed bath and beyond) *walks to beds* Wow nice beds *walks to baths* Wow nice baths *walks through intergalactic wormhole* Wow nice beyond
@SondraDeeMe: Perfect one night stand: Amish person. No internet access. No phones. In the heat of passion they'll whisper the secret to apple butter.