@Rollinintheseat: "Hi, I'm Rob Thomas for the Organ Donor Association. Give me your heart, make it real or else forget about it."
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@LostFelicia: If I die, someone please tell my husband that my shoes are worth six times as much as I said I paid for them.
@fro_vo: [airplane intercom] good afternoon ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking why did you leave without me
@Rollmaninoz: [first day as a vet] Me: ma’am I’m afraid your horse has some of the worst cancer I’ve ever seen Her: um this is a camel Me: a what now??