@Rollinintheseat: "Hi, I'm Rob Thomas for the Organ Donor Association. Give me your heart, make it real or else forget about it."
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@phalguy: 10: What does AF mean? After Flossing. Now go brush your teeth and they will be clean AF. Why do you ask? 10: Mom said you were lazy AF.
@krisv_723: I was arrested last Halloween. Apparently it's illegal to chase someone yelling, Touch me! Even if they are dressed as the Grim Reaper.
@007Rex_Inc: There sure are a lot of hot Canadian chicks on Twitter....if I knew Canadian, I would totally hit on them.
@KalvinMacleod: Dave's coming over "Dave from work or loud and obvious Dave?" [outside] THE RAIN HAS MADE ME WET. I AM WEARING PANTS. MY EYES ARE BLINKING