@Mr_Kapowski: Hi, I'm Zack. You might remember me from HR meetings such as, "We Don't Even Need to Watch the Security Tape to Know It Was You"
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@Shanomenonandon: WHISKERS: There's nothing there. Go ahead. BLIND PERSON: *Steps off cliff* WHISKERS: Technically ^-- why we don't have seeing-eye cats
@RealSamHarwood: A homeless man randomly asked me if I was from Minnesota yesterday, so I replied, "no, but once I stabbed a guy who grew up in Minneapolis"