@Kalarlis: hi rappers i have been shaking dat ass all night and i am exhausted can you make a song about sitting and watching tv at a reasonable volume
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@fakegoldegg: toothpaste is a big scam. if ur tooth falls out, it stays out. toothpaste Will Not paste it back in.
@MartaEffing: Just saw a five year old in a track suit & a gold chain. His nana didn't think it was funny when I asked him if he could hook up some blow.
@theflipgod: #WorstWaysToStartALoveLetter What started as a simple prostate exam, has blossomed into something special...
@bencoffeehall: My dentist asked me if I had a problem with my gums bleeding. You'd have to be really laid back to not have a problem with that.