@AristotlesNZ: Hi. We noticed you Googled "How do I keep IT from seeing my browser history" yesterday at 3:21pm. How'd that work out for you?
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@stephenjmolloy: Brain: Too much to think about to sleep. Me: But I have work tomorrow. Brain: I don't care- *alarm goes off* -okay you can sleep.
@Mike_Bianchi: To save money, instead of going to the club, I just get drunk at home and yell "what?" into a mirror over and over.
@thenatewolf: *angrily throws glass of bourbon into the fireplace* I'M SORRY MY RUDE WIFE DIDN'T OFFER YOU A DRINK, MR. FIRE!!!!