@mdob11: Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?
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@seamussaid: dude told me he did a line with Emma Watson but I know he was lying - she's British, they call them "queues"
@SomthinBoutSara: I'm gonna pretend my dad didn't abandon me but is actually on the missing Malaysia air flight and he'll be back
@JustaFunEscape: Twitter to me is like the Bermuda triangle. I don't know how I got here and I'm not even sure where "here" is.