@aimlessamers: Highway to Hell is my favorite wedding song.
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@stephenjmolloy: Wife: "Do you want to watch Batman Forever?" Me: "I'll watch it for a couple of hours." Wife: "I hate you."
@RunwayDan: I appreciate it when my cats stand around while I clean their litter box. We're like a little road crew: one guy works, three supervise.
@1Happytwit: I like to skip when I'm carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.
@AbbieEvansXO: THERAPIST: tell me about your childhood THE PREDATOR FROM ALIEN VS PREDATOR: well, when I was a child predator... THERAPIST: ok, first let’s talk about phrasing