@aimlessamers: Highway to Hell is my favorite wedding song.
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@ArfMeasures: [Me as a boxing commentator] ME: Oh no, they're fighting again, this is just like last time
@TheMichaelRock: News: Don't panic about Ebola, but please watch this nonstop coverage about how it could spread everywhere and kill you. Don't panic though.
@matt___nelson: *walks up to dealer* I would like 3 weeds please "Are you a cop?" No I love crime and tomfoolery "..." Could I also get a bushel of cocaine?