If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@RedheadChaos: Him: Do you swallow?
Me: Every time I chew.
@XplodingUnicorn: How to meet a girl:
1) Walk into a bar.
2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.”
3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.
@michaeljhudson: "I want a lady in a sheet and a creak in the bed" -haunted house designer
@NurseMurderer: My favorite part of eating alone at this trendy restaurant was when the waitress asked if I had cats because I had cat hair, "all over."
@svnsxtional: I can give out my number and I bet 8152898509 dollars my phone will still be dry.
@Sveldtsmelt: Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.