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@aaronup: Hiphop cereal idea: Ludacrisp
@AimeeHelene1: Pretty sure HR is going to be paying me a visit, thanks to the CW that emailed to thank me for "all the services I provided them".
@XplodingUnicorn: Teenager: Bae swag YOLO
Me: In better times, people who spoke gibberish like that were burned as witches.
@casual_koala: Animals that lose their tails visit the retail store.
@IGotsSmarts: The networks need to change the phrase “Breaking News” to “Now What?”
@p_net: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: No idea. I pretty much just zone out whenever I'm behind the wheel. Did anyone die?