@Fyrekrakr73: Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
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@reeni730: Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
@protolalia: He paid me $150 for the "girlfriend experience," so I went through his phone then locked myself in the bathroom, sobbing inconsolably.
@Beerhaze: I wish it were okay for a guy to carry a purse because there is only so much banana bread that I can fit in my wallet.
@Swishergirl24: Doctor: You have bronchitis Me: OMG I've always wanted a dinosaur!What do I feed it?